they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
