im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
