It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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