meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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