Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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