fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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