Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
