turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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