this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
