True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
