I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
