It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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