I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize