New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
