so that wasnt chicken after all
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
