Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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