I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
