I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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