it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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