Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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