omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
