I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I look better un-naked...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
