I looked at my own cervix.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
