After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
