how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
