so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
