And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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