Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize