I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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