I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize