i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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