i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize