omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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