What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
