forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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