He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
