and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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