I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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