I have demons in me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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