Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
