3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
