OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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