the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
