You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
