Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
