i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
