it was like his penis was on wheels.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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