Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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