Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
