do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
