I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
you made out with another girl for some wings
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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