There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
