he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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