Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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