I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
