There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
