Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Randomize
