At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
