How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We are all done wearing pants today
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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