omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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