found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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