It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
